Why

I have recently been struggling with the question of "Why?". Why would a loving God, who wants nothing more than to have us cling to Him and follow him, force us to go through the pain of losing those who are close to us? What is the point in that? In my experience (and it is limited) the death of a loved one does not usually cause me to cling to God, but to become angry with Him. I do not enjoy being angry with the God I love, but I have a hard time not yelling at Him for the pain he has allowed me to feel.
I know that God is not out to cause me pain. I know that God wants to see me happy. However, when I am struggling with the loss of something close to my heart it feels as if He has removed himself from the situation and wants nothing to do with me.
I have been struggling with learning to pray with earnest and fervency, but it seems that when it matters most to me, He does not listen. Maybe it is a failing on my end. Maybe I lack the true faith that he requires. Who knows.
What I do know is that I am angry, I am sad, but most of all that I am going to miss my friend.

trying again

Well, it has become apparent that I am not the best "blogger" in the world. But, here is a litte update.
Not much is new in the Weddle family. We got back from Cabo San Lucas a couple of weeks ago, and we really want to go back! Cabo was a lot of fun, and the weather was great.
We met some new friends down there, and we will probably be traveling with them again in the future.
For now though, it is back in to the rat race. Amy and I are still trying to figure out what our next move is. Because we don't currently have any kids, and we don't have a mortgage, that move could be anywhere or nowhere. Who knows? No, really, does anyone know? If so, could you please tell us?
I have been going through EMT refresher courses at JCCC recently. Saturday and Sunday, 8am-5pm of lecture and lab. Not fun, but it has been good to go over everything again so that I don't end up hurting someone rather than helping them.
That is all that I can think of right now, but I will try and post again soon.

An Interesting Spin

I have been trying to think of something to write on this page. I would write about my day at work, but no one really wants to read about how I sold more electrical equipment to Florida Power and Light today. If I write about stuff like that, these posts are going to be really short and boring.

I will try this...

As I start, I want to first say that I do not want this post to seem like I am complaining. Far from it. I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve; if I deserve anything at all. I have a wife who is more supportive of me and my dreams than I ever thought possible. God has given me a loving woman who I know will bring me joy throughout my life. We have great friends and families. We both have good jobs. We have a nice apartment, and two working cars. We belong to a great church that challenges us and is helping us to grow with Christ. All of these things are more than Amy and I deserve, but there seems to be something missing. Some sort of excitement. Some sort of adventure.

I had a friend tell me today that the key to blogging is putting an interesting/amusing spin on your everyday life. "Then," he said, "people might want to read what you have to say." I have a problem with that. I don't want to have to put a "spin" on my life so that it is interesting. I want my life to naturally have an interesting spin of its own...and then I think about Isaiah 6:8.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'
And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

Talk about opening your life up to having an interesting spin. So, here I am. I want to be one who says "Here I am. Send me!" I want to be the one who ventures out without reservation or fear. The problem is that I struggle with opening myself up like that...

So, in the course of writing this first post, I believe I have figured out what this blog will be about. Anyone who reads this will get to watch me struggle and strive towards finding the faith, strength, and courage to say "Here I am. Send me!"

Hey look...I have a blog. Now if only I can find the words to say what I want to say...